Country music presents: A hillbilly's Sonnet

I don't have the patience to love you anymore

the devil sends you roses

and you've one foot out the door.

As I lay here on our sofa

and pretend to try and sleep

I want you in a coffin buried six feet deep

I never wanted you so bad

As I want you now to be dead

visions of you bleeding and a gun under my head

I wish I could unscrew you

and erase you from my mind

burn you from my memory and leave you far behind

Cause you can't do this one thing

and be want I want you to be

Baby if you really loved me,

you'd stand over me and pee

I don't want your daddy's money

I don't want a faithful wife

or little whiney babys

that will keep me up at night

All I want from you babe

is a blast of warmth and welcome

and a good ol' hearty hand job

while I'm watching Malcome.

So honey drink some water

and come join me on this couch

I'll bang you with my big bird

and show you I'm no grouch

I'm gonna take your life bitch

If you don't do me this one favor

because I need your golden shower

You've got that speacial flavor

Honey do this for me

I know its an odd request

but if you piss all over me

I'll buy you two new breasts

So drink an Ice cold pitcher

and be who I want you to be.

If you ever really loved me.

Stand over me....and pee.

The End!